The chart demonstrates the proportion of Australian females and males in various age groups who did daily exercise in 2010. Overall, It can be seen that the women who did regular exercise were more than men.
According to chart both genders were classified in six different age sets ranging from 15 to over 65 years old. Looking at the age group 15 to 24 years old the percentage of boys and girls who did physical activities were 52.8% and 47.7% respectively. In contrast, this trend totally changed in following group (25 to 35 years old) the number of boys declined dramatically to 42.2%, on the other hand there was a slight increase in the proportion of girls.
Moving towards the next age set (35 to 44 years old) the proportion of males further dropped and reached at the lowest peak of 39.5%, whereas, the percentage of females continued to increase and rose by 3.4%. People of 45 to 54 years old showed growing trend and it’s followed by the next age group. In Australian citizen of 65 years and over group the percentage of women decreased steadily by 3% and on the contrary the proportion of males rose marginally to 46.7%
Evaluation 1
The BAR chart demonstrates the proportion of Australian females and males OF in various age groups (15 TO 65 AND ABOVE) who EXERCISED DAILY did daily exercise in 2010. Overall, I(i)t can be seen that the women (DELETE who) did regular exercise(S) were more than men.
DELETE (According to THE chart COMMA both THE genders were classified inTO six different age sets ranging from 15 to over 65 years old. ) Looking at the age group 15 to 24 years old COMMA the percentage of boys and girls who did physical activities were 52.8% and 47.7% respectively. In contrast, this trend totally changed in following group (25 to 35 years old) COMMA the number of boys declined dramatically to 42.2%, on the other hand COMMA there was a slight increase in the proportion of girls. MENTION THE DATA
Moving towardS the next age set (35 to 44 years old) COMMA the proportion of males further dropped and reached at the lowest peak of 39.5%, whereas, the percentage of females continued to increase and rose by 3.4%. People of 45 to 54 years old showed growing trend and it’s followed by the next age group. In Australian citizen of 65 years and over group the percentage of women decreased steadily by 3% and on the contrary COMMA the proportion of males rose marginally to 46.7%
Body paragraphs ARE VERY WEAK. YOUR COMPARISON WAS NOT STRONG. YOU JUST WRITE AS PER THE GIVEN DATA. GROUP SOME ELEMENTS AND COMPARE. USE LINKING WORDS.
Possible Scores:
Lexical resources = 6
Coherence and cohesion= 7
Task response = 6
Grammar (and Trivial Errors) = 6
Evaluation 2
The chart demonstrates the proportion of Australian females and males in various age groups who did daily exercise in 2010.
Overall, it can be seen that the (MAJORITY OF) women (DELETE: who) (AMONG THE 6 AGE CATEGORIES OF BOTH GENDERS) did regular exercise (DELETE:were) more than men
According to chart, both genders were classified in six different age sets ranging from 15 to over 65 years old. Looking at the age group 15 to 24 years old, the percentage of boys and girls who did physical activities were 52.8% and 47.7% respectively. In contrast, this trend totally changed in following group (OF) 25 to 35 years old (AS) the number of boys declined dramatically to 42.2%, on the other hand, there was a slight increase in the proportion of girls.
Moving toward the next age set (OF) 35 to 44 years old, the proportion of males further dropped and reached at the lowest peak of 39.5%, whereas, the percentage of females continued to increase and rose by 3.4%. People of 45 to 54 years old showed growing trend and it (‘s) (WAS) followed by the next age group. (In) (AMONG) Australian citizen(S) of 65 years and over group(,) the percentage of women decreased steadily by 3% and on the contrary, the proportion of males rose marginally to 46.7%